hush-hush bride

How do you plan the perfect wedding for a

bride? What do I mean by that?  Well, let’s not go so far as to refer to the bride as bridezilla.  There are some brides that may not be difficult to work with because of a temper problem, attitude issue, or even an entitlement dilemma; some brides make the job of a planner/ coordinator / decorator difficult because of their hesitation to divulge important information.

So what is the big secret anyway?  And why wouldn't a bride share everything necessary for a planner/ coordinator/ decorator to make her day as perfect as she may have envisioned?  Well... most brides have dreamed of this day ever since they were little girls - exactly what they would wear, the colors, the place - and these are the dreams and visions that have kept them going.  They are tucked safe and sound in their inner thoughts and desires.  Now, they take those dreams and try to explain their vision to someone who has not lived inside their heads, and has no idea exactly what she really wants.  We, as decorators and planners / coordinators, take those dreams and often try to improve upon them, mixing them in with our own ideas and expressions, and all of sudden our bride's dream is a shared reality that looks nothing like what she really wanted in the first place; as beautiful as the outcome may be.  And this must be every bride's nightmare.  It is not intentional, it is not the inner bridezilla coming out, nor is it a secret ploy to make our jobs more difficult.

So how do we keep the dream alive?  Patience, patience, patience.  And a little more patience tucked away for later.  First of all, planners/coordinators/decorators (more particularly, of weddings) need to pull ourselves out of the picture.  Completely.  This is not about us.  What we do is always and ultimately for the bride, our clients.  It is their day and it is our job to make their day, theirs... stress and worry free!  With that being said, and with us now out of the picture, we have to become the bride by listening.  Yes, you read right!  I know, I know, I did title this blog the "hush hush bride", but we have to listen to the things that aren't always being said.  We have to learn to tune ourselves in to a bride's emotions and reactions.  Watch facial expressions, hear voice tone changes, learn to read between the lines, as it were, to understand if you need to offer to do more, or if you need to simply be there to assist.  Some brides know exactly what they want, and some don't exactly know what they want.  Some only want the groom, and everything in-between is simply going-through-the-motions.

Ask questions.  Just because a bride may not ramble on and on about every sequin and lace she wants in her wedding ceremony, it doesn't mean that she will not share if asked.  It is our job as coordinators/planners/decorators to ask the important questions that will help us determine whether a southern bride wants lace or tulle, or whether a Tuscan wedding theme means grapes or sunflowers.  If you ask what the colors are, and you only get "berry red", then dig a little deeper: "Do you just have one color, or do you have another in mind?"  The mind of a bride is so scattered, how can we expect them to know exactly what we want from them. or that they aren't assuming we got a certificate in mind-reading?  Part of the consultation process is to inquire, inquire, and ask some more!  That is the only way to become privy to the details in her head.  And it's much better than becoming an unwilling participant in a game of wedding charades!  Only when she stops having the answers should we step in to determine that our ideas and details can be used to pull it all together.

Always be prepared.  If full planning & coordination services are not needed, then we should be there as support.  But never leave that extra tablecloth at home.  A good planner / coordinator / decorator always walks with whatever we think a bride may need, even if she has voiced that she has "everything under control".  Yes, she may have only hired services for day-of coordination, or advice, or ceremony decor duty; however, the true test of a good event planner & coordinator is how we act under pressure, and whether we came through in a crisis.  Reliability is an unexpected trait that is a good one to keep at the forefront.  The reputation of your business may depend on the good, or bad, opinion of a client to other potential clients.

After all, wouldn't we rather work with a hush-hush bride, than a... BRIDEZILLA?!!!

Stiletto Events provides full event planning and coordination services, as well as partial services, and other specific services.  See our catalog of services offered on our website:  www.stilettoeventsplanner.com.